Do's and Don'ts When Supporting Bereaved Families
The death of a baby is unlike any other. Though we mean well, sometimes our attempts to comfort a patient in their time of loss causes more heartache. Saying nothing at all can be equally as hurtful.
The following tips are meant to help your words be truly supportive and to alleviate some of the anxiety around "saying the wrong thing" as you care for your patient who has endured the this unimaginable loss.
HURTFUL LANGUAGE
At least…
Everything happens for a reason
Time heals all wounds
It’s going to be okay
God has a plan
You are young, you can have more children
At least you can get pregnant
Be thankful you have other children
Let go, move on
HELPFUL LANGUAGE
I am so sorry
I/we will walk through this with you
This is what is going to happen (describe the process; you will need to repeat yourself)
I would do anything to take this pain away
If you would like to talk about how you are feeling, I’m here to listen. (if you aren’t able to talk, bring in someone who can)
AS A PROVIDER
If you have had your own loss, it can sometimes be helpful to share so that the parents know that you understand.
It’s okay to cry with the parents, but it’s also important to make sure you are in control of your emotions.
PLEASE DO NOT
Do not offer cliches
Do not judge or offer advice
Do not compare losses